Friday Poetically with One Stop Poetry

Mirrored Lives?

We mirrored each other move for move
as we loaded our conveyors to the tills,
with bread and cheese and frozen peas.

My helper, happy but not too helpful
lingered, watching, waiting.
Hers, rocked like a boat without a mooring;
his fingers planted in his ears excluded all,
except the reassuring sound of his own breathing.

I smiled across and reminded her of school
but recognition was not mutual.
I knew she was not how she appeared –
the normal harassed shopping mum.
Her coping face hid the heartache
while shuttered eyes kept spirit fettered.
Now her smile was gone, as was her son
who had wandered off without her.

Ten years of bread and cheese and frozen peas
had passed between us but I was shocked,
for in that brief moment I wore her skin.
Our energy and expectation stolen,
now reality had kicked in.


About jaytale

My name's Jill but I'm Jack of all trades and master of none. I've been writing, mainly poetry and short pieces for a long time and decided to concentrate a little harder to see if I can master this at least. I paint both the house and pictures when inspiration strikes. I am a country bumpkin who loves to be outdoors and enjoy meeting interesting people.
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12 Responses to Friday Poetically with One Stop Poetry

  1. Since I too take care of little ones, I know that, yes they are wonderful in every way, AND they are a handful. Especially when we realize that as we age our dreams lose their radiance. This piece allows us to understand that we are not alone in this.

    Good job! 😀

    • jaytale says:

      Thank you for your comments Matt. I’m quite a long way down the carer route of an autistic lad and do wonder if I can use my experience to help others. Thank you again.

  2. brian says:

    oh heavy poem…life happens and the ripples spin outward causing havoc…or freezing the peas in between…i like that imagery btw…nicely done bit of verse…

  3. scott says:

    “except the reassuring sound of his own breathing” that line stood out. I enjoyed the scene you created. A great read.

    • jaytale says:

      Thank you Scott. The learning difficulty I referred to in the poem was Autism. I don’t know how much you know about this but youngsters in particular will try to block out their surroundings, both audibly and visually. Thanks again for reading.

  4. Hello. That was a cold slap. Very nice, strong. vivid, last lines very, very good.

  5. SallyJ says:

    so often the real person is hidden behind a ‘coping’ face. poignant poem Jill.

  6. Just Poetry says:

    oh beautifully expressed, ‘Her coping face hid the heartache’ ~ I think a lot of us do that don’t we? Good imagery, I am there… poignant indeed.. x

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